


bend and (not) break

by inkin_brushes



Series: Fucktoy AU (EXO) [10]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: BDSM, Dom/sub, M/M, Master/Slave, fucktoy au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-20
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2018-10-15 21:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10558224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkin_brushes/pseuds/inkin_brushes
Summary: Luhan looked up to see a strange man he’d never seen nor noticed before standing over them. He wouldn't have given him a second glance. Chen started to tremble, going so white so quickly that Luhan was suddenly alarmed that he was going to faint.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is the fic where chen runs into one of his old masters (perhaps the worst one he's had) at a party. again this is a non-porn fic in our porn verse SHUSH. this is kind of more just character building than anything else. it's so long tho uguuuu

Luhan was incredibly, unbelievably bored. 

The party he was at this time was yet another social gathering, where nothing much was happening except the masters discussing business and politics. Luhan didn’t think it could even be called a party. Interesting things happened at parties. People got drunk and did silly things and provided some entertainment. At this travesty of a social event, Kai had merely walked from group to group engaging in small talk, until Luhan had begged to be allowed to go roll around on the floor cushions with the rest of the toys and try to keep himself from dying of boredom.

It wasn’t really working. Not least because Chen was insisting on being well behaved.

“I’m bored,” Luhan whined. Chen, sitting cross legged on the cushion beside him, ignored him. Baekhyun, sitting to Chen’s other side, was watching the people mill around them, perfectly serene. “There’s nothing interesting happening. Why won’t you talk to me?”

“Because if I talk to you, you’ll make me start talking about how ugly Lady Elwen’s dress is,” Chen said, out of the corner of his mouth. “And she’ll overhear and then I’ll get into trouble.”

Luhan looked over at Lady Elwen, took in her alarmingly fuchsia dress, and laughed. “It is remarkably ugly,” he said. 

“I don’t want to be punished,” Chen said stubbornly.

“You’ve changed,” Luhan said accusingly. Chen rolled his eyes at him.

Suddenly Tao appeared and flopped down onto the ground behind Luhan, stretching like a cat. Luhan poked him in the stomach and Tao glared at him. His right cheekbone was swollen and darkly purple, and there were bruises in the shape of fingers yellowing around his throat. His robes were sleeveless and a dark shade of blue which went quite well with the bruise. “What?” Tao asked, rubbing at his stomach, even though Luhan rather thought it had hurt Luhan’s finger more than Tao’s stomach. 

“I’m bored,” Luhan told him.

“I don’t care,” Tao retorted.

“Do you talk to your master in that way?” 

“Only if he wants to get hit harder,” Chen said, voice dripping with derision. 

“You’re not my master,” Tao said, ignoring Chen. 

“Maybe I should be,” Luhan grumbled, bringing his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. “I’d teach you some respect.”

He became aware of someone standing next to them, but he didn’t pay any attention as he poked at Tao’s stomach again. Chen, however, glanced up. The next second all the colour flooded from his face, turning him so white so quickly that Luhan was suddenly alarmed that he was going to faint. “Chen? Are you okay?”

Chen opened his mouth but absolutely nothing came out.

“Well, well,” said a queer voice. Luhan looked up to see a strange man he’d never seen nor noticed before standing over them. He wasn’t tall, but neither was he short; he wasn’t good looking nor ugly. He had salt and pepper hair, although his face didn’t look too old. He was dressed in dark robes, fitted well but nothing special, with well-worn boots on his feet. Luhan wouldn’t have given him a second glance. Chen was starting to tremble. 

“Don’t you look pretty?” The man hunched down, eyes raking over Chen. “With a collar and everything! Who dressed you up so nicely?” 

Chen, by this stage, was shaking all over, his fists clenched by his sides. Luhan had never seen him like this, all the sassiness stripped out of him. Chen was never scared, not even of the masters who screamed in his face and threatened to get him beaten by an official, one of the toy handlers who punished toys when their masters could, or would, not. But now, Luhan felt like the only thing keeping him from fleeing was that he was literally frozen by fear.

Luhan decided he really didn’t like this guy. 

“I’m surprised anyone would even make an effort.” The guy was still looking at Chen in a way that made even _Luhan’s_ skin crawl. “Must be someone pretty fancy to be at a party like this. You did well for a piece of shit toy.”

Chen jerked, like he’d been slapped. Then he was gasping. Luhan realised he was struggling to even breathe. “I -- I --” Chen managed before he fell silent, almost wheezing. 

Behind Luhan, Tao rose from his place on the floor, his shadow falling over them ominously. Baekhyun jumped to his feet and ran off, and Luhan hoped beyond hope that it was to find Lord Suho. The guy torturing Chen didn’t even glance at them, paying the other toys no mind. “Your collar is certainly very pretty though. Did they get it custom made? It looks like it would be very nice to tug on.”

He lifted a hand as if to touch the collar. If he did that, Luhan didn’t know what he would do. It was almost thrilling. More thrilling was the realisation that he didn’t know what Tao would do either. Chen, however, flinched away before he could be touched. The man’s smile grew into an animal grin. “Shall we go for a walk?” he suggested, an eyebrow raised. “For old time’s sake? They’ve nicely provided some bushes. I wonder if your new master knows how to really make you scream.”

Chen continued gasping, cringing away, hunched over and arms wrapping around himself. The man just seemed amused. “What’s wrong, has the cat got your tongue? You used to never be able to keep your damned mouth shut.”

Luhan was scared now, genuinely frightened that Chen was going to pass out. He looked around for someone he could alert to what was going on, someone who was in a position to _do_ something, and he heard the strange man say, “Come on, do you even still have a tongue?”

Luhan turned back to see the man reach out and grab Chen’s jaw with his fingers, pressing so hard that the skin around where he was touching turned white. Judging by his expression, Luhan expected Chen to scream, but instead he made a high-pitched whine of pure fear that about broke Luhan’s heart.

Luhan reached out and bopped the man on the nose with his closed fist. 

The man wasn’t hurt, but he was surprised. He fell back a little, staring at Luhan like he’d only just noticed him. “You _hit_ me,” he said, face darkening. “Why, you little--”

“What the hell is going on here?”

Lord Suho was suddenly there, pushing through the crowd of people that had gathered. He knelt in front of Chen, Luhan shifting to give him some space. “Chen?” He reached out and gripped Chen’s shoulders. “It’s me, it’s Suho. It’s okay.”

Chen gasped like someone resurfacing from water. “Master,” he said, his hands suddenly scrabbling at his own back, arms still wrapped around himself. “I want to go home, please -- I don’t -- please, I want to _go home_.”

“Okay,” Suho said, who looked as alarmed by this behaviour as Luhan felt. “We can go. I’ll take you home. It’s okay, Chen. Here.” He tugged Chen’s hand away from his back and held it to his chest. “Like this, remember? Just breathe like me.”

The guy who Luhan had hit had climbed to his feet, and was trying to slink away unnoticed. He turned and walked straight into Lord Kris’s chest. The man tried to walk around him, but Lord Kris deliberately blocked him, eyebrow raising.

“That toy hit me!” the man said immediately, in a whiny tone of voice.

“Why?” asked Kris mildly. 

The bluster seemed to go out of the man’s sails. “Why what?”

“Why did he hit you?”

“Does it matter?” the man cried. “It’s a toy and it hit me! Aren’t you going to punish it?”

“No,” said Kris blandly. 

“Just you wait,” the man fumed. “I’ll get an official involved and then you’ll both be sorry.”

“I don’t know about that,” Kris said, his shoulders rising and falling in a slow, unaffected shrug. “You’ll have to speak to his master.” At the look on the man’s face, Kris added, “Oh, that toy doesn’t belong to me. He belongs to Lord Kai.”

The man went as white as Chen had gone, and Luhan _hoped_ he passed out.

“My toy is the one standing behind the one who punched you,” Kris said. The man looked at Tao, took in the black eye and bruised neck, and gulped.

“What did he do to you?” Suho asked Chen quietly. Chen just moaned, dropping his head, hugging himself. Suho paused and then shrugged off his jacket so he could wrap it around Chen’s shoulders, tucking him into it like a child would be tucked into bed. Chen huddled down, seeming to relax instantly. “Do you know him?”

Chen shivered. “I want to go home,” he repeated.

That seemed to be answer enough for Suho. He rose to his feet. Luhan had always thought Suho had a nice look, a friendly look; he never raised his voice, and even when he was angry there was something non-threatening around him. Right then, he looked terrifying. It was, Luhan thought, watching as he took a step towards the man, not thrilling to suddenly have no idea what Lord Suho was going to do. 

“Suho? What’s going on?” 

Luhan gasped, eyes quickly finding his master, who was stepping out of the crowd looking confused and concerned, Kyungsoo beside him. Chanyeol was behind them both, his face solemn and confused, and Baekhyun slipped around him to come and kneel by Chen’s side, rubbing his arms and shoulders soothingly. 

“Master!” Luhan said, almost a whine. Kai’s eyes widened and then he was striding past Suho, who had frozen. Kai hunkered down in front of Luhan, cupping Luhan’s cheek with his hand. Luhan gripped it thankfully, pressing it and kissing the palm.

“Did he hurt you?” Kai asked, his voice hard as flint, and part of Luhan leapt at the sound. “Did he do something to you, because I swear to the gods, Luhan, if--”

“No,” Luhan whispered. “It wasn’t me, he didn’t hurt me, he hurt Chen.”

“Oh,” said Kai, very softly. His hand fell away from Luhan’s cheek and he stood, glancing over at Suho. He stayed silent, however.

Chanyeol strolled forward, his eyes flickering between Baekhyun and Chen and then back to Suho’s face. “Suho, my friend, what’s happened?”

Suho raised a hand, pointing a somewhat shaky finger in the man’s direction. “He _touched_ Chen,” he bit out.

“I know,” said Kai quietly. “But Suho, there are people here. Be careful.”

“That toy was being rude to me,” said the man, pointing at Chen. “He was being sassy.”

“No, he wasn’t,” said Luhan shortly. 

The man eyed him with pure hatred before turning his pointing finger on him and saying, “And that one punched me!”

Kai looked down at Luhan in surprise, his eyebrows raised. Luhan coloured, embarrassed, but couldn’t regret his actions. He just didn’t want his master to think badly of him. “You grabbed his face,” he said stoutly. “You were hurting him.”

There was a long moment of silence, so tense that Luhan was frightened to move in case he tipped the balance one way or another. In the end, the man mumbled, “He was being rude to me.”

“You--” Suho choked out. He whipped his head around, looked at Chen, and stopped. Chen was crying, tears running silently down his face. Suho cursed. “I can’t,” he said. “I can’t deal with this. Can one of you sort this for me? I need to take Chen home.”

“Since my toy is the one who assaulted him, I’m sure I can help work through this,” Kai said, and Luhan cocked his head and tried to hide his smile, because Kai sounded perfectly unbothered by Luhan’s actions. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, looked shocked. Or, more shocked than usual.

Suho nodded. Then, sighing slightly, he hunched down, taking Chen’s hands. “Come,” he said quietly. “We’ll go home.” With Baekhyun’s help, he managed to get Chen to his feet, although those feet looked decidedly shaky. Chen curled into him, almost shrinking away from the man standing in front of Kris, glaring at Chen like this entire thing was his fault. Suho’s lips moved, although Luhan couldn’t hear what he was saying, as he led Chen out of the room. 

There was a lull, as everyone stared at each other. Then Kai said, “So my toy hit you? I’m _so_ sorry.” His voice was dripping with insincerity. 

Luhan pressed his lips together to stop the giggle escaping. Kyungsoo flopped down beside him, and Luhan absently pulled his robes out from under Kyungsoo’s thigh to stop it creasing. “He’s not mad,” Kyungsoo murmured.

Luhan shook his head. “No, he’s angry. But he’s not angry at me.” He grabbed Kyungsoo’s arm and hooked his own around it, squeezing it tightly. This was going to be fun.

\---

It took longer than Suho would have liked, to get Chen from the room and out to the front of the house. It took longer again for his carriage to be brought around, and by the time it stopped in front of them, Chen was shivering, despite the warm night air, and Suho’s jacket around his shoulders. Suho thanked and praised Baekhyun for his help once Chen was in the carriage, and climbed in after him, closing the door on the people who had been standing outside rubber necking at them. 

Chen had settled himself into the corner of the carriage, huddled up. As the carriage began to move, Suho sat down opposite him and held out a hand, reaching for him. Chen shied away. “It’s okay,” Suho said. “Chen, it’s okay.”

“Master, I -- I --” He took a deep, shuddering breath that told Suho that even though he couldn’t see Chen’s face right then, he was still crying. Without speaking, Suho moved across so he could gather Chen into his arms, pulling him against his chest. He kissed the crown of Chen’s hair, then his cheek, and then his mouth, tasting salt.

It wasn’t correct to say that Chen was shivering: he was shaking, all over, his entire body trembling. It was impossible to put it down to the tears, either. Suho had no idea what had just happened. He’d never seen that man before in his life, and he’d been to enough of these parties that usually he didn’t see a single face that he didn’t recognise. Then to see Luhan reach out and punch the man on the nose -- Suho hadn’t been sure he’d seen that correctly. For a good moment or two he’d convinced himself that he was having an hallucination.

And then, seeing Chen pale and scared -- that had been terrifying for him, as well. Chen had been so pale his lips had been colourless, his eyes wide enough to see circles of white around his irises. Suho had thought for certain he’d been about to pass out, and realising that he was having a panic attack had only added to that fear. 

“It’s okay,” Suho murmured, holding Chen close, gently stroking his hand down Chen’s side. “It’s okay, he’s gone, you don’t need to be scared.” He got the feeling, however, that Chen wasn’t crying simply because he was scared, he was crying because he couldn’t _stop_. Suho fished around in the pockets of the jacket he’d wrapped around Chen and brought out a handkerchief which he used to dab at Chen’s face. 

Chen shuddered, turning his face into Suho’s chest. His arms wound around Suho’s body and held him close, pressing his face into Suho’s shirt, hiding his tears. He took two shuddering deep breaths but still the dampness on the front of Suho’s shirt spread. 

“That man--” Suho began quietly.

“Don’t,” Chen moaned. “Please.”

Suho fell silent for a second, trying to collect his thoughts. “I can’t do anything if I don’t know who he is,” he said, very softly and simply.

“You can’t do anything,” Chen whispered. “He’s -- he’ll hurt--” He started crying again, harder, shaking his head as he buried it back in Suho’s chest. Suho held him close, his heart aching; he would have to trust that Kai and Kris got the information he needed. 

There was silence for a long time, nothing but the clatter of the carriage wheels over the cobblestones. Neither of them spoke as they wound their way from the north side of the city over to the east, and it wasn’t until they were pulling into the driveway of Suho’s house that he became aware that Chen was whispering something.

“Hmm?” Suho lowered his head, putting his cheek near Chen’s wet one.

“I ran away from him,” Chen whispered.

Suho felt something in his stomach tighten. It was rare that toys ran away from their masters, and a crime besides. Toys who were caught were often whipped thoroughly before being returned to their masters. Suho had never heard of it happening to anyone within his social circle. “Why?”

Chen shook his head. When he spoke he was still whispering but it was frantic, feverish. “He found me, I couldn’t get far, I had no money, and he, he brought his friends over and they -- hurt me, hurt me in more ways that I could think of and I -- I wanted to die, I prayed for it, and I thought, I thought it came but I’d only blacked out and they woke me up--”

“Chen,” rasped Suho, sick to his stomach with horror.

“And he sold me the next day to a dealer and he didn’t -- nobody--” Chen took another shuddering breath, fresh tears falling down his face. “And he found me again, he found me, he hurt me and he’s going to hurt me more, because he _found me_.”

“ _No_ ,” Suho said fiercely. “Look at me.” Chen lifted his face slowly. His eyes were swollen and red, his face stained with tears, his makeup ruined. Suho lay their foreheads together, brushing the tears away with his thumb. “He’s not going to hurt you. I won’t let him, you hear me? I won’t let him hurt you.”

“He hurt me,” Chen whispered. “At the party. He grabbed my face and it hurt.”

Suho suddenly felt so wretched that he wanted to die himself. It was his job to protect Chen, and after everything he knew about Chen’s past, he should have realised. He should have been there. Instead he’d been off hobnobbing with some boring aristocrats and it had been Luhan who had protected Chen.

“I’m sorry,” Suho whispered. “I’m so sorry. But he can’t hurt you anymore, Chen. I promise you.”

Chen just shook his head. 

One of the stable boys came running to meet them as the carriage pulled up. Suho pushed the door open and after some coaxing managed to get Chen to stand. Suho ducked out first and the stable boy immediately said, “My Lord, we weren’t expecting you for another couple of hours. Should I fetch the housekeeper?” 

“Please, do,” Suho said, and the boy scampered off. Suho turned and held out his hands, upturned, for Chen to take. Chen gripped them as he came out, and as they walked slowly up to the house, Chen curled into him, pressing his face as best as he could to Suho’s shoulder. 

Suho’s housekeeper came to greet them in her nightgown and robe. “My Lord, you’re early, we’re not--” She caught sight of Chen, cringing away from anyone who was not Suho. She had never seen Chen anything less than poised and semi-defiant. Suho didn’t think anyone in his household had seen Chen anything less than that. It was probably a shock. Her voice had dropped in volume when she said, “My Lord, has something happened?”

“It will take too long to explain,” Suho said, shaking his head. “I need you to do some things for me. I need you to go to Chen’s room and find some clothing suitable for sleeping in. A shirt, some loose pants, you’ll know best. Something that covers him, at least. I also need a basin of warm water for washing, and a pitcher of cold for drinking.”

“Yes, my Lord, right away.” She turned and fixed an eye on a yawning maid, who immediately scuttled off to get things sorted. His housekeeper peered at Chen; he normally quite liked her because she was straightforward and didn’t accept nonsense. He shied away from her, trying to press into Suho like he wanted to disappear into him. 

“There was an incident,” Suho said tersely. “At the party. He is unharmed but -- he has been upset. I will deal with it in the morning. Chen needs rest for now.”

He could see her trying to work out what sort of incident could bring about such a change in Chen. Suho didn’t enlighten her. He put his arm around Chen’s shoulders and led him up the stairs, heading for his bedroom. By the time they got there he found that someone had already put the clothing he’d asked for on his bed, a rumpled white shirt and white linen pants, with a drawstring tie. Suho carefully stripped Chen of the clothing he’d been wearing at the party and helped him into his new clothes. Chen’s hands were trembling too much to do it himself.

When there was a knock at the door, Chen jumped. “It’s okay,” Suho said, holding his hands. “It’s just one of the maids.” Chen pulled his hands away and turned to flop onto the bed, laying on his side with his back to the door, curled in slightly. 

Suho opened the door slowly. It was actually two maids, one of them carrying a basin of water which had steam rising from it in gentle plumes, and one carrying a large jug of water, the ice chinking against the glass with every movement. He directed them to put them on one of the side tables, walking with them, so that they kept their eyes on their destination and didn’t stare at Chen. 

Once they were gone, with permission to go off to bed, Suho picked up the basin and carried it to his bed, grabbing a cloth on the way. He placed it on the table closest to his bed, dipped the cloth into it, wrung it out, and then sat down, facing Chen.

Chen was still crying. It was slow, the tears leaking out like he had no way to stop them. Suho felt like crying himself. How was he supposed to make this better? “Come here,” he said, holding out a hand. Chen ignored it, pushing himself into a seated position on his own, sitting cross legged opposite Suho. He didn’t bother rubbing at his eyes. They were so swollen and red by now that Suho was surprised he could keep them open, and still the tears came. 

“I promise you,” Suho murmured, using his damp cloth to wipe away the tear stains, “he won’t be able to hurt you anymore.”

Chen stayed silent. Suho wiped at his eyes, pressing the warm cloth against them gently, bathing them to take some of the sting away. Chen held himself still and quiet until Suho turned to dip the cloth in the water again. He rubbed at his face. “I can’t stop _crying_ ,” he said, agitated. 

“It’s okay,” Suho said. “Do you want some water -- do you want some food? I can get the kitchen to--”

“I want to sleep,” Chen said quietly. “I feel so tired. Can I just sleep?”

“Of course. Do you want to go to your own room? I know you don’t usually--”

“No.” Chen shook his head firmly. “I want -- I want to sleep here. With -- I want to sleep here with you.”

“Oh.” Suho hadn’t expected that. He nodded his head and stood up off the bed to begin taking his outer layers off, the jacket and fancy clothing that he’d worn to the party and which he hadn’t removed in his attempt at calming Chen down. When he’d finished, Chen was lying at the end of the bed, his face turned into the sheets, as if to hide the obvious fact that he was still, somehow, crying. 

“Are you okay there?” Suho asked.

“Yes,” Chen whispered, and Suho blew out the candles and climbed into bed. But it took a long time before sleep actually came.

\---

Recently it had been the thrashing that woke him up but this time it was the screaming. He’d heard Chen screaming in his sleep before but it barely compared to this. It was a rending sound, heartbreaking, and Suho shot upright, already moving to the end of the bed.

The reason the thrashing hadn’t woken him was because there was no thrashing. Instead of the usual panicked attempt at fighting off the attackers in his dreams, Chen was curled up, trying to occupy the smallest space possible, his arms over his head to protect himself. Suho touched him before he was even really aware of what he was seeing and Chen shrunk in on himself, still screaming.

“Chen!” Suho yelled desperately, trying to break through the scream. “Chen, wake up, you’re just dreaming. It’s not real.” He reached out and took Chen’s shoulders, trying to turn him over.

That seemed to get through just a little, but only enough so that Chen lashed out a hand, suddenly struggling like a fish against his hold. Suho knew by now to keep a good distance away, to avoid being hit. “Chen, please wake up. It’s me, it’s Suho, I know you can hear me. It’s not real. None of it is _real_.”

Chen was crying before he even woke up, tears spilling down his face as he blinked open his eyes, coming out of his nightmare much more slowly that Suho was used to. He looked at Suho blindly but then some of the fogginess cleared as he recognised him, and he choked something out, something that sounded a little like _help_.

Then he surged up, his arms wrapping around Suho’s neck, his face buried in Suho’s shoulder. His sobbing now was noisy, hysterical; he heaved in huge gasps of air as his body shook. Suho clung to him, holding him close enough to feel every single shudder that went through him, kissing his hair over and over again as he whispered promise after promise that it would all be okay. 

_My god_ , he thought helplessly, _what did they do to you?_. 

“You--” Chen gasped out, shudderingly, “they--”

“Shh,” Suho murmured, “it wasn’t real, they’re not here--”

“They’re going -- they took me away from you, they -- you -- him and his friends, they took me away from you, and they hurt me again--”

“They’re not going to take you away,” Suho said, a strange buzzing in his ears. “I won’t let them.”

“They hurt Luhan,” Chen choked. “And Baekhyun, they hurt them like they hurt me. Don’t let them hurt my friends, don’t let them--”

“Chen,” Suho said sharply enough to pierce the bubble of hysteria. “He won’t. _They_ won’t. Nobody is going to hurt you, not ever again.”

Chen’s breathing was ragged, his forehead pressed to Suho’s shoulder, but he was silent. “I promise you,” Suho said, “I am telling you. They can’t take you away, Chen. You belong to me.”

“What if,” Chen mumbled. “What if he never...let me go. What if this was just a trick, what if he tries to take me back?”

Suho grasped his shoulders and held him away, staring at him. “Chen, listen to yourself. He’s not -- I don’t care what sort of person he is. He cannot take you away, Chen. He hurt you in the past, I know, and I want -- if I could, I would see him killed for it.” Chen shook his head wordlessly, the picture of despair and confusion. “But he cannot hurt you any more. What he did today at the party, that was unacceptable. He had no right to even talk to you, never mind touch you or hurt you. He won’t do it again.”

“But Luhan,” Chen said, shaking his head, “Luhan _hit_ him. He’ll -- he’ll hurt Luhan, he will, he doesn’t like--”

Suho chuckled, absurdly, placing their foreheads together. “Do you really think Kai will let anyone hurt Luhan?”

Chen seemed to consider this. “No,” he said eventually.

“Right,” Suho said. “And I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Chen threaded his fingers into the back of Suho’s hair, pressing his cheek to Suho’s. Their lips brushed lightly. His face was wet all over again. When he pulled away, he shook his head in frustration, fresh tears in his eyes, clinging to his eyelashes. “I can’t stop,” he said, “I don’t know why, I just, I can’t.”

“You don’t have to,” Suho told him. “You can cry all you want.”

“I don’t want to cry.” Chen scrubbed at his face with the bedsheets. “But I don’t want to sleep either. I should -- I should go to my own room, I’ll read or something, you should sleep, master.”

“No,” interrupted Suho. “I don’t think I can sleep, either. I’m--” _worried about you_ , he thought, but that thought was too complicated, he barely even knew how to express all the things he was worried about. 

“I don’t want to keep you awake,” Chen said.

“It’s okay. We can do something.” Suho slid off the bed, reaching for a shirt before he lit a few of the candles. “You’ve been interested in my chess games recently, do you want me to teach you?” Chen nodded, unsure. Recently Suho and Minseok had been playing biweekly chess games, Suho using the game as a way of explaining certain military strategies. Chen had been interested in the game, sitting close to Suho and watching carefully but not asking any questions or interrupting. Yixing, for his part, seemed to know enough about the game to whisper moves into Minseok’s ear, although they were always the moves that led to Minseok’s regular defeats. 

The drawing room where the chess set was had been shut up for the night, and it took Suho a couple of minutes to locate the candles and light them all, flooding the room with a soft, flickering orange glow. In that lighting, Chen’s eyes didn’t seem so swollen. Suho pulled out the chess board and began setting it up, when Chen sat silently opposite him, watching curiously. 

The game didn’t take too long to explain. Chen had picked up a little bit of the rules purely through watching, and Suho was able to power through the rest of it. It struck him again, as they started their first game and he watched Chen make his first move, that Chen was a lot smarter than anyone, including Suho, really ever gave him credit for being. 

He wasn’t sure how long it was; he hadn’t even know what time it had been when they woke up, but by the time they finished their third game (three wins for Suho, as was to be expected), the sun had started to come up, and Chen was yawning widely, trying to hide them being his hand. Suho’s own tiredness sat on him like a second skin, one he was almost familiar with. He had often had sleepless nights in his early days in the army. 

He paused in setting up for the fourth game, as he watched Chen’s head droop a little. “Chen,” he said softly, “if you wish to sleep, we can go sleep.”

Chen’s head lifted and he looked wary. “I -- I am tired but I am--” He fell silent, clearly not wanting to admit to being scared.

“You can--” Suho said, and then cursed himself for stumbling. “You can sleep with me. Truly, this time, I mean. In the bed with me.”

Chen’s mouth fell open. “But I -- I kept you awake all night, I -- I haven’t been good enough, you don’t have to--”

“It’s got nothing to do with good or bad,” Suho said. “We both need to sleep and I would feel happier knowing that you’re okay. And I want you to, Chen, even if just for this one time.”

He half-expected Chen to keep up the protests, but he didn’t, choosing instead to clamp his mouth shut and follow Suho without question. He trailed behind Suho all the way back up the stairs, chewing on his bottom lip. At the top of the stairs, Suho turned and gently pulled it from between his teeth, like always. “You’ll make yourself bleed,” he said softly, “gnawing on yourself like that.”

Chen brought a hand up and wrapped his fingers around Suho’s wrist. Sensing what he really wanted to do, Suho moved their hands until their fingers were threaded together. Then he continued to the bedroom without another word. 

\---

When Suho blinked his eyes slowly open, the sun was bright and he was still tired. Chen’s head was buried against his chest, his deep even breaths soft against Suho’s skin. His arm lay slung across Suho’s waist but his hold had loosened in his sleep and when Suho gently slid out from under it, Chen didn’t wake. He rolled onto his front, burying into the warmth that Suho had left behind. 

Suho padded to the bowl of water from last night and splashed some of it, long since gone cold, onto his face to wake himself up. He could feel the tiredness settling into his bones, the joints in his fingers aching, but he pushed it away, washing his face and dressing quickly and quietly, careful to not wake Chen. He wore simple clothes, suitable for riding, wrapping a cloak around his shoulders to guard against a possible early morning chill.

His household was awake, and when he asked a passing bootboy for the time, it turned out to only be a couple of hours after he and Chen had gone back to bed. It was not late, but no longer too early for those who had attended the party last night to still be asleep. He forewent food, instead requesting his horse be saddled up, and he paced his study while he waited. He knew that if he sat, he would fall back asleep. 

“My Lord,” his housekeeper said, poking her head into the room. “Your horse is ready. What should I -- what would you like done with Chen?”

He could read the unasked questions on her face, and he wondered how much he should tell her. Chen kept everything so secret, preferred it that way, and the last thing Suho would do would be to betray his trust. But after last night, he didn’t know how much longer he could go without someone else knowing how things stood. For now, however, he just said, “He’s asleep now. If he wakes up, prepare anything he asks for, be it food or a bath.”

The ride to Kai’s residence took less time on his horse than it would have done in his carriage, and the whip of air against his face as he rode woke him up considerably. It was fairly empty on the streets, especially nearer to the palace, where presumably no one woke before midday. There were times he envied that luxury. 

Kai’s manor was at least twice the size of Suho’s house, set in sprawling gardens tended to perfection by a legion of gardeners. Suho rode up to the front entrance slowly, taking in the sight of the house, old grey stone that would have looked cold and unwelcoming if it weren’t for the greenery built up around it. It was truly beautiful, he’d always thought, but he was usually in a carriage and that didn’t show off the view like riding up himself did. 

A surprised stableboy met him at the front steps, chattering nervously about how they hadn’t been expecting him and did his horse need anything in particular and would he like a message sent ahead? Suho shook his head and tossed him a copper coin and the boy scampered off with his horse. 

The sight of him at the door sent the housekeeper in a tizzy too. “Lord Suho!” she gasped, motioning frantically with her hand behind herself at a maid, who turned and ran off somewhere. Another maid stepped up to take Suho’s cloak and riding gloves from him. “We weren’t expecting you. Does Lord Kai know you’re coming?”

“No,” Suho said, although he thought Kai would probably suspect a visit at some point. “I suppose he’s probably still asleep.”

“No, he woke just fifteen minutes ago. He’s breaking his fast in the small dining room. If you wish, I could show you to him.”

“Please,” Suho said, and followed her to what was considered the small dining room, which was probably just marginally smaller than Suho’s only dining room. Kai was eating a small pastry and reading a newspaper. He was dressed in a black silk robe, tied loosely around his waist. By his side, seated on the floor with his head resting against Kai’s thigh, was Luhan, dressed in an ice blue silk robe embroidered with silver dragons which wound up and down the draping sleeves. When Kai stood to greet Suho, Luhan jerked in a way that made Suho think he’d fallen asleep. 

“Suho,” Kai said warmly, embracing him. “I didn’t think I’d see you so soon. Sit, eat. There’s plenty. They’re trying to fatten me up.”

“I’m sure you need no encouragement,” Suho said, but he sat and accepted the pastry that Kai offered him, breaking off a piece and chewing on it thoughtfully. Kai fed Luhan a piece from his own plate. “No Kyungsoo?” Suho asked, to break the silence.

“He’s sleeping still,” Kai said with a shrug. “Luhan should be sleeping too but he insisted.” 

“I’m not tired,” Luhan said, and punctuated it with a yawn. Kai rolled his eyes at him.

“I wanted to thank Luhan for what he did last night,” Suho said solemnly. Luhan blinked at him, wide-eyed and beguiling. “You helped Chen. It was very brave of you.”

“And somewhat stupid,” Kai interjected. He gave Luhan a hard look. “He could have easily turned on you and hurt you.”

“If he did that,” Luhan murmured, “then you would have hurt him, master.” He turned back to Suho, and gave him a wide smile. “That man hurt Chen. I should have done more than punch him on the nose.”

Suho blinked. Kai went back to eating his breakfast. “Well, yes,” Suho said, “I wanted to thank you. I’ll be arranging for a gift to be sent to you soon.” Luhan brightened at that. Suho knew from what Kai had spoken of before that Luhan liked pretty presents. “And I wanted to ask you, Kai, what happened after I left.”

Kai swallowed and brushed his fingers off on a napkin. He seemed to think very carefully about his words. “That man,” he said, “that wasn’t the first time he had hurt Chen, was it?”

“No.”

“An ex-master?”

“Yes.” Suho hesitated, then added, “One he ran away from.”

That seemed to surprise both Kai and Luhan. Luhan shivered and pressed his face to Kai’s thigh for a moment. “He must have been awful,” he said, muffled against Kai’s leg. “To make even Chen do that.”

“How do you mean, Luhan?” Suho asked gently.

Luhan raised his head. His face was dark, in a way that Suho didn’t think he’d seen before. “Chen talks sometimes about his old masters. He finds you confusing, my Lord. He compares the way you act with them and he doesn’t understand, so he asks us if how you treat him is normal. And sometimes, he tells us how his old masters would have reacted to the same thing, and it’s -- it’s awful. They were awful. But to have been so bad that he ran away…” He shivered again.

Kai seemed shocked. “What do you mean, they were awful?” he asked, looking between Luhan and Suho. “What would they do?”

“There has been abuse, in his past,” Suho said uncomfortably. “Most of it not fit to be spoken of in company. Suffice to say that it has left a lasting impression on Chen. I am trying to help but things like last night don’t help matters.”

Kai shook his head, his hand dropping to card through Luhan’s hair soothingly. “The man turned out to be a very minor lord, with a main estate about forty leagues from here and a small household over on the west side of the city. I’d never heard of him but Chanyeol assured me that he was a nobody according to family lineage.”

“No wonder he went so pale when he heard your name,” Suho murmured.

“He was still yelling about getting Luhan punished when our host had him forcibly removed from the party. No one could work out how such a nobody managed to get in, but then no one was admitting to being his friend after the spectacle he put on.” Kai reached under his newspaper and pulled out a folded piece of paper, which he handed to Suho. “This was waiting for me when I woke up.”

Suho opened it and skimmed through it quickly. It was a court summons, to discuss ‘a suitable punishment for a wayward toy’. Suho snorted. “So he’s serious.”

“Apparently so. He’s a fool, if he thinks he even has half a chance of getting close to Luhan. Three quarters of the court members are in my pocket. I could put a stop to this in an instant. But I thought about it and I think it will be far more satisfying to drag it on and suck as much coin from his pitiful estate as I can.”

Suho, who had never really understood the remarkably rich’s penchant for drama like this, could at least appreciate the genius behind such a move. 

“Of course,” Kai continued, “I’d be handing some of that money over to you to spend on Chen.”

Suho gaped at him. “What?”

“I have little need for the money. Far better it go to someone who actually needs it. Not that I’m saying you need money,” he added hastily, “simply that I’d like to see Chen pampered, so to speak. I don’t know the extent of his abuse, nor did I ever suspect that it was anything as bad as what you and Luhan have implied, but he deserves nice things, don’t you think?”

Suho nodded slowly. Chen had little interest in material things, like jewelry or trinkets, but there were probably things that he wanted that he’d never had a thought to ask for. It would be nice to give him money of his own to spend as he wished. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. 

“It’s no problem,” Kai said with an airy wave. 

“No, truly,” Suho said. “Both of you. Chen will be pleased to know that he has friends in you.”

“Chen is--” Luhan said, and then fell silent, apparently realising for the first time that he was speaking out of turn. He blushed lightly, and Kai clucked his tongue in derision. Luhan ploughed on. “Chen is very happy with you, my Lord. You treat him well, as well as any toy could hope to be treated and then some. I hope that you continue to be a good master for him.”

“I hope so too,” Suho said sincerely.

\---

Suho let himself quietly back into his bedroom, shrugging all the needless layers of clothing off in quick movements, laying them on a chair. After the horse ride and the conversation with Kai, his exhaustion was threatening to overwhelm him. It had been too long since he’d done anything on so little sleep, he thought wryly. He was getting slack.

He’d thought Chen was asleep, curled up in a lump on the bed, covered in the sheets. He’d created a little cocoon for himself. Then the lump shifted and Chen peeked out from underneath them. His eyes were awake and alert, his face still swollen from the tears of the night before. “You’re back,” he said. His voice was sheer relief.

“I am,” Suho said lightly. “I went to see Kai.” He sat on the bed, and after a moment, Chen reached out and took his hand, holding his fingers lightly. “How long have you been awake?”

“A while.” 

“I told the maids to bring you food if you asked. You didn’t have to stay in bed.”

“I didn’t know where you’d gone,” Chen said. There was something in his voice that was almost accusing. “I thought that maybe, you’d--” He broke off, frowning at their hands. 

“I just went to see Kai,” Suho said gently. “It’s all okay. Luhan isn’t going to be hurt. No one is going to hurt either of you.”

“And he -- he’s--”

“He wants to take Kai to court to get Luhan punished that way. From how Kai was talking, it seems very likely that he’s going to just get tangled up in minor court things until he literally runs out of money. He is,” Suho added, squeezing Chen’s fingers, “far more interested in Luhan rather than you.”

“But, why?”

“He can no longer harm you. Why would he try to get to you now? He hurt you because he could, because you were vulnerable and relied on him. But now, you have me.” Suho smiled at him, warmly, and Chen blinked. “You are always going to have me.”

A pause, while Chen collected his thoughts. “Sometimes, I almost believe you,” he murmured. 

“Perhaps soon, you will always believe me,” Suho said, and he kissed Chen’s forehead.


End file.
